As soon as I started classes I felt like a whole new world opened up to me about my body, it's capabilities and my options and rights as far as birthing goes. My teacher was so open and honest, without ever making me feel dumb or self conscience about the choices I did want to make. I went with the same Midwife I used for Ellie, and I knew I still wanted to birth at the hospital again. I was being as diligent as I could practicing all my visualizations. My sister Alexis was to be my birth companion along with James. While my husband is more then capable of being my birthing companion, medical situations make him unwary and he sort of freezes. I knew that if I took responsibility and pressure off of him he could focus on me and himself a little more. So my sister would be more of a Doula/ delegate, because if there's one thing my sister is good at it's taking charge! She and I would get together to go over our Rainbow Relaxation. I would take an iPod to work and listen to my affirmations and other visualizations over and over again. I did a practice birth visualization, seeing myself sitting with my sister, talking between surges, walking around the halls, sitting on a birthing ball and relaxing in the tub. I imagined several hours at home breathing through surges and enjoying as much time at home as possible before going to the hospital. I had a plan, and I was going to stick to it.
On Monday at my 39 week appointment I decided to have my midwife do a cervical exam, up until that point I had opted not to have any, as the progression of your cervix and the "number" you're at tell you nothing. You can be at a 4 (or more) for a month before anything happens, or be at a 2 and then deliver your baby the next hour (it has happened). So I tried not to take stock on a number, but some personal experiences happened that weekend that I just felt like I needed to be check for other things as well. My midwife got wide eyed, and told me I was at a 5 and 75% effaced. Wow, so I scheduled an appointment for my 40 week check up completely expecting to not need it.... Well a week later and SEVERAL false alarms I found myself back at my midwife's office. I once again opted to be checked, I really wanted to make sure I wasn't going to need any medical intervention and in my mind if I knew my body was working on it's own pace and progressing I knew I would be mentally able to make it another week if I had to again. I was a 6 and 90% effaced. Well, it was progress and I knew right then I would NOT make it another week and my body was ready. My midwife told me to walk as much as possible, and to just relax. I left the office and called my husband, we decided I would go to his parents house and hang out for a little while since it was just as close to the hospital as my house was in case anything happened. Once I got to their house I was suddenly exhausted and my body started shutting off, I laid down on the couch and I went into a deep sleep for about 2 hours.
Once I woke up I started feeling some deep surges, just a couple, and then they were gone. They were enough though to decide I wanted to be home. I told James I was leaving and that I was going to call my mom to be with me, so that he could stay at work. Again, being a self pay family we couldn't afford him to miss any work if he didn't have to. I called my mom and she said she would meet me at home. My little sister also text me saying she needed someone to talk to and to just be around and asked if she could come over to my house to hang out. Of course I wanted her near me if she needed to be near someone, and it didn't hurt to have one more person with me. My mom got to my house first, and I was having surges very lightly but enough for me to notice and keep track. My mom painted my toe nails for me since I never found the time to get the pedicure I so badly wanted before I birthed. For a couple of hours my mom and my little sister just hung out in my living room, chatting, laughing and just enjoying our time together. Once James came home my mom decided it was time for her to leave. She helped James pack up my daughters things and took her to her house, she had been taking Ellie for us the whole weekend for just a couple hours to give James and I time to just be together. James would rub my back and legs for hours on end and just cuddle with me all weekend while I was going through my surges. My little sister stayed behind for just a while longer. James made us all dinner and as I sat through dinner my surges were starting to come every 5 to 3.5 minutes. Only about every third one though was intense enough for me to have to concentrate and breath through, and even then my little sister said she couldn't even tell when I was having a surge. I told my sister I was going to get in the bath tub and try to relax so she left. Honestly, all I wanted was time with my husband where we could hold each other, and just relax. I went downstairs to James and told him about my surges. However, they were now starting to ease up, and I really couldn't tell if I was having any anymore. I decided I just needed some words of wisdom and a plan, since this was exactly what had been happening all weekend. We called into the on-call midwife, and I told her exactly what had been happening. She said since I was talking easily, and sounded at ease that I should wait and see if the surges return. If I could go another hour with surges that caused me to use my breathing techniques each time I got one then I should call back and mostly likely head into the hospital. Once I had reassurance I started feeling better, this was probably going to be another false alarm. James and I decided to start watching True Blood since Ellie was still gone. As I was getting some more comfortable clothes on my older sister text me. She was at my mom's house and wanted to know if we needed Ellie to stay a little longer or if she should bring her home after The Bachelorette was over? As I was responding I took a step and felt water between my legs. I had been passing a bit of mucus the last couple of days and figured that was all it was. When I went into labor with Ellie and my water had broken it was a full on movie-esque flood of waters. This time it was only if I shifted my weight a certain way, or lifted my leg to get into bed. I also still had yet to feel any surges begin again. I went to the bathroom to clean up, but then I thought maybe I should test this... I took off my pants and my underwear and stepped into the bath tub. I started doing squats to see if it made more water come out and if I could actively stop the water with my muscles. After a couple of times I realized, this is not an alarm, my baby was coming to me.
I informed James that, yes, indeed it was my bag of waters and we should probably go to the hospital. I deleted the text I was about to send my sister and sent her a new one. At 8:59 pm she got the key phrase we decided to use when I was ready to birth my sweet boy. "Thundercats Go!" (we love Juno). She asked if I was serious and I told her yes, we were on our way to the hospital. We were calm and excited as we grabbed our bag and got in the car. I called Alexis and told her she could wait until the Bachelorette was over since I had to get into the hospital and get situated in my room, and that I wasn't having any severe surges yet, so it may still be a little while. I then called the hospital to tell them I was on my way and that I would be birthing naturally and to be sure they had a room available with a tub. We got to the hospital at about 9:15pm. I walked in laughing telling them I would like to be rolled into my room as every time I take a step now a little more water came out. They asked if I knew how progressed I was at all, and I told them where I was that morning. They were all amazed I could be at a 6 and 90% effaced and I was walking into labor and delivery with a smile on my face. How could I not be smiling though? I was about to have my baby and that alone was anesthesia enough!
Once I got into the room I informed them I was a HypnoBirther and I didn't want to be on a continual monitor. My nurse asked if I was wanting a heplock, and I told her I would prefer not to since I wanted to be in the tub and didn't want to worry about my hand not getting wet. My nurse didn't even hesitate and said that was great. She said she had a gown for me, unless I had my own. I informed her I did indeed have my own gown and thanked her for the option anyway. As I put my gown on I realized.... it was MUCH tighter then the last time I tried it on. I was bummed for a minute because I had such a comfortable birthing outfit, and now it doesn't even fit! I still kept it on, but it was hiked up above my hips. The nurse asked if she could check me since I was so progressed or if I wanted to wait? She informed me that my midwife had been there all day with another mother and they would call her in right then if I wanted. I figured to just have my nurse check me and she said I was a 7 and 95%, also my bags of water had only partially ruptured. She called my midwife right away.
My midwife came in about 5 minutes later, I gave her a big smile and said "We made it!" She was very surprised though that I had taken this long, she was sure I would have been right back to the hospital earlier that afternoon. We joked about how I had just talked to the other on-call midwife and that I thought I was going to have to wait even longer until I came in. Then we really started talking business. The monitor had shown that I was having surges about every three minutes, but I honestly couldn't feel them at all. She said I could choose to walk around for a while in the halls and see if my waters would rupture the rest of the way, or she could break them for me? I was torn, I didn't want anyone doing anything my body couldn't naturally do itself, but I also knew if the rest of my waters broke it could speed things up and my baby would be in my arms sooner. It was hard deciding what I knew would be best for me personally, or best for my body and baby. I broke, and decided I was this far progressed, my waters were ruptured they just hadn't completed, so my body was ready to go further. I chose to allow her to finish breaking my waters. Just as she was about to insert the hook however the rest of the bag ruptured.... and it was a flood! I mean it just poured out and all over the bed and the floor. My midwife had been sitting on the edge of the bed and ended up having to change her scrubs because she was soaked. I was laughing hysterically, and James was just staring, not knowing how to help. They had to change my entire bedding, and as I got up my birthing gown suddenly fit! This large bulbous mass that had previously been my stomach was now a small very round ball. Once my midwife returned she asked if I wanted to get in the tub. It was the number one thing on my list of laboring so I said yes, and she went to draw me a bath.
By this time my sister Alexis had arrived and we told her the story of my waters. She was sad she had missed all the excitement, and I thought the excitement was just beginning. I was finally able to feel my surges coming, and that excited me. I instantly started my surge breathing and used my rainbow relaxation techniques to relax through them. Once the tub was ready I eagerly walked in and slid into the warm water. My lower back instantly started relaxing and I was at ease. James and Alexis came in to sit with me, and we teased about how annoying the tub actually was because it had a slow draining sound. I just tuned it right out as I could actually feel the intensity building, I mean really building fast within my surges. My sister started using the affirmations we used and was tickling my arm. James got me cool clothes and Alexis would put them on my chest, or my forehead. My surges weren't what I was expecting either. I thought in my visualizations they would be a building up to a peak lasting a while then easing down until the next one. Mine would go from 0-60 so fast, there was no build. Then it would wane for about 10 seconds before building right back up to the peak for a minute and finally release. I suddenly realized too that I was no longer using colors in my head to help keep me relaxed, but a song. There's one song by Sarah Brightman called Scene d'Amore, she doesn't really sing in it rather then do a kind of chant. As each surge was brought on I started singing this in my head and it pushed me through each one. Here is the song...
I finally realized I did not want to be in the water anymore. My entire pelvis was full of pressure and the water was no longer easing any of it. My sister and James helped me out of the tub right as another surge was coming, I HAD to sit down. I sat on the edge of the tub, and suddenly my fear kicked in. Having that fear suddenly made me even more afraid, if I held onto my fear I knew I would tense and I would not be able to birth my baby as I had planned. My sister had gone on a trip to Italy for 10 days a week before and I was scared I hadn't continued preparing well enough. I just looked at her and told her "I don't think I prepared well enough for this." She held onto me as I was going through the surge and she told me I was strong, and I was prepared. I could do this, looking back I realize now I was going through transition. As the surge passed I started to gain my confidence back again, and I walked to my bed. Just as I sat down another surge was quickly upon me, I didn't feel right all of a sudden sitting on the bed. I wanted to be up, I needed to be more vertical I got up on my knees and faced backwards so I was holding onto the top of the bed and rested my head against the mattress. The nurse said she was going to check me real quick and then go get my midwife. "I don't know if I feel like I have to push because I feel like I have to push, or if I just WANT to feel like I have to push" I called out! Before my sentence was even finished however I felt my muscles take over my body and they were just pushing down. The nurse didn't even check me and called my midwife in. As soon as she walked in she told me if I feel comfortable birthing in that position to just stay there and I can birth how I need to. The nurse asked if I needed some counter pressure on my lower back and I immediately said yes. I felt my body break out in sweat, and suddenly I had a cold cloth on my back, I'm not even sure who it was who put it there, wither my sister or my husband, or possibly both. I was so inside myself and my body, I lost track of who was around me. One of my key words I would use while practicing was "release" I repeated this phrase over and over and now it was the only word I could hear in my head. Everything was blocked out except for "release". The only problem with that, was I had almost released too much. I let my body and instincts take over so much I forgot my breathing. As each surge came upon me my voice took control as well. I called out, moaning loudly. The moaning though was my only form of control, it was a way of releasing the tension in my body in an almost physical form. Each time I would surge and moan my body took control, and pushed my baby out some more. No one told me it was "time" to push, or when I should push. My body just KNEW when it was suppose to push, and it DID. Suddenly my midwife spoke out to me somewhat sternly and told me to focus. "You need to breath and try to control the pushing you feel to slow down. You will hurt yourself if you do not slow down" It's exactly what I needed. I snapped back to what was happening and really focused on what I was feeling in my body. I used my breathing down techniques and instead of wild moaning I started calling out "down" and "open." With that one last surge I heard my sister tell me he was almost there, when all of a sudden I felt him slide completely out! Apparently his head came out very easily, but he had his one arm up at his chin so his shoulders were more difficult to get out, which is why I needed to slow down.
With the way I had birthed we had to take a second before I could have him placed on my chest. We did a little game of Twister so I didn't kick him out of my midwife's hands, or get tangled on the umbilical cord. As soon as I had flipped over though my midwife instantly placed him on my chest. It was amazing. He was so clean! There was no blood on him, hardly any vernix, I felt like I could just take him home right then. I looked at my sister and told her I couldn't believe I did this again, I had created a living being, and he was now in my arms. My husband, who I'm sure I'm not giving enough credit to for all he did, came and stood next to me to look at his son. He was born at 10:51 pm. Not even two hours before I had walked in smiling and laughing and now here I was with my baby in my arms. My sister held me and continued to tell me what an amazing job I did. My husband was so entranced by his baby he wouldn't leave his side either. We kept him on my chest as I birthed my placenta, but I handed him to his dad to be weighed while my midwife massaged my uterus to get clots out, and that was very painful! I again had to breath through that more then my birthing. I also came to learn that no matter how much preparing, and visualizing my perfect birth plan, sometimes things happen and you just have to go with them. I thought I would be at home as my birthing progressed and that I would know it was progressing. While I did get to be home for most of it, I didn't realize I was technically in labor! Everything went so fast by the time I knew it was time to birth my baby, I just let the whole thing happen, and I truly let nature take over.
Axel James Naylor was born 6-17-2013 at 22:51. He was 7 lbs 7 oz and 19.5 inches long. I felt amazing too. I was able to get right up out of my bed and walked to the restroom, I had no tearing and was full of energy. I went home the next day as early as they would let us. My midwife filled out my discharge papers that morning, but the on call pediatrician was being difficult and wouldn't let us leave until late afternoon. We just didn't see the point in staying if I was medically ok, and Axel was medically ok. While we waited to be released my mother brought Elijiah to meet her little brother. It was perfect. She jumped up on the bed and wanted to hold him, she knew instantly he was her brother and she loved him. I held my son in one arm and had my other arm around my daughter, while my husband held all of us. This was our family and we are happy.
