I know I don't blog, I've realized that my time is taken up by running around town, running after a baby, and taking time to enjoy moments with my husband. But something made me stop dead in my tracks, examine my life and take a breath. Then all I wanted to do was write. I wanted to share this flood of emotion that started pouring out of me.
I found out today that a woman that has always been this huge influence of feminine strength was taken down by a stroke. She doesn't drink, she doesn't smoke, she's always been super active and always on the go. She ate right and was so intelligent. Then BAM a stroke, a brain hemorrhage takes her down puts her in ICU on a ventilator. And then this evening her daughters had to decide to take her off the machine and sit and wait. They watch her fight because Dawn is a fighter! She's fighting this moment for her life that she will more then likely loose. Even if she were able to breath on her own and come around, she will never be the same Dawn that she once was. She won't be able to go running, or go on cruises, take her dogs out for walks and play with them. Will she be able to do her magicks? Will she be able to tell her girls how much she loves them? Will she be able to hold her grandchildren that will be here so soon?
Dawn is only a few months younger then my mother. I don't know how I could handle loosing my mom right now. Frances has always been my support, I've turned to her so many times for so many things, and now I need to be there for her. I wish I could be there next to her, holding her hand letting her know I'm always there for her. I can only hope she knows I'm there in spirit. I know she knows that. I know she does.
I can't get my thoughts straight, they are all running through me, I can't keep them straight long enough to get them out on here. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to laugh. I want everything to go back to how it was. I want Frances to be happy in her news about her pregnancy with her mother. During my pregnancy my mom was the best thing to help through all the anxiety. She has all the advice, and memories. How is she going to get through this all with out Dawn?
It will be fine, God will take care of us all, and answers will be given. I pray it will all be ok.....
