Thursday, April 12, 2012

Tipping the Scales... of Libra

30 Day Blogging Challenge: Day 5

Describe your Astrological Sign, and if you agree with it.



Libra Astrology September 23 - October 22

(my birthday is October 18th)

Libra Strength Keywords:

- Diplomatic
- Graceful
- Peaceful
- Idealistic
- Hospitable

Libra Weakness Keywords:

- Superficial
- Vain
- Indecisive
- Unreliable

Libra and Independence:

Libras like to be around other people, they are all about partnerships and groups. They are happiest when other people are around and when other people are doing their work. They are lazy but like posh surrounding and nice decor. These two extremes could strike a balance and the Libra living on his own could either have a very messy place or a very intricately decorated place. They can be independent, they have the intelligence and the full capability within but would a Libra rather co-exist/depend on others.

My response
I'm very much a Libra.  I'm at the tail end of it though, so there are a few things that do not apply to me.  I'm very extreme, I go from the tippy top, to the lowest low....  I can be happy and friendly, to completely cold and stand offish.  I know this, I know I need to work on this.  I do not like that on this description they use the word "lazy".  I don't think it's a lazy trait we have but an exasperation towards doing more.  I think Libra's are such hard workers, that to even the scales we just stop sometimes.  We want someone else to take over, and and do something.  I feel like I'm a very hard worker at my job, in my house and with my family.  There are times though where I just stop for a little while because I've been running like a mad woman I need time to get back to myself.  And I have a messy house.

Libra and Friendship:

Libras love excitement, new situations, adventure and the unusual. They make friends with people from all walks of life and they are always up to something new and exciting with enthusiasm. Libras are great at getting along with people, everyone likes a Libra. They are all about partnerships and groups, they are the glue that hold a group together because they are the ones responsible for keeping harmony and peace. Libras have mastered the art of relationships, not just romantic but business, personal, and family relationships just to name a few. No one is able to see another person's point of view better then a Libra. 

Response:
I love this last sentence.  I try very hard to make sure I see other people's points, and I know people I talk with and people who come to talk to me appreciate that.  However I feel like there are very few people who see my point of view.  I'm fine with that, until they get mad at me because they don't like my point of view.  I feel like I have a lot of friends, and very, very few best friends.  I'm the one that would bring people together to do things, but one of the last people invited out. I give my friends all the loyalty and devotion they deserve, but get mad when I show that same devotion and loyalty to other friends.  It's ok though, I have friends who see and understand that, and they are the ones who have lasted....

Libra Deep Inside:

They are also likely to hide or bend their own true feelings in order to bring peace with a group and to make others like them. Sometime this results in them not really knowing what their true feelings are because they are trying to make everyone happy. Other people can see this and Libras have earned themselves a reputation for being indecisive, they simply do not want to hurt anyone's feelings or cause disorder or friction in a situation. This spills over inside the person and many times, Libras have difficulty making decisions. Inside, the Libra is very insecure, they suffer from a lack of self confidence, they are always searching for something to complete them. This is another reason why they are social butterflies, it is an unconscious attempt to find the missing peace through other people. By trying to appease other people all the time, Libras don't really know who they are inside. Libras desperately need love and approval, they will do the favors that people ask and and have a hard time saying 'no' or 'I'm too busy' in order to prove how nice they are, this gradually builds up resentment and negative self esteem issues inside. Libra's indecisiveness is caused by fear, their fear that a wrong decision will make everything come crashing down around them and cause turmoil in their lives. Life is not like that and the Libra that acknowledges the fact that life has ups and downs will be less emotionally wound up, not so hard on themselves and as a result, they will be a much happier person. 

Response:

Oh, this is very accurate....  I feel this way right now especially at my work.  I'm always the one everyone goes to first to have a night shift covered, or come in on days off.  I'm always seeking approval from everyone by sacrificing myself.  This ties in very much to my suicide post as well.  I'm always my hardest critic, always have been.  No one can cut me down like I can.  That is why I have to do daily affirmations, to remind myself not to be so hard.  I learned that in my therapy....

Libra in a Nutshell:

Libras are the diplomat of the zodiac. They are able to put themselves in other's shoes and see things through another person's point of view. They are the ones that always want to make things right and have balance and harmony in their life, their surroundings and the lives of the people close to them. They have captivating charm, elegant taste and they are easy to like due to their eager-to-please, easygoing nature. In return for a Libra's amazing ability to be a good listener, sooth and calm people, they expect admiration. Libras will gather a group of people, everyone will become friends then the Libra will be in the center of the group. They like the attention and the admiration for the people that they have brought together. Libras are very intelligent, they often hide this inside their easygoing exterior. They express their intelligence through creativity, most are involved in some sort of artistic or creative pursuit. Many people overlook just how intelligent a Libra actually is. When others see a Libras wide range of interests and hobbies, their intelligence and creativity is more then obvious. Libras love variety and different situations. They welcome change. Libras love luxury. They will spend lots of money and surround themselves with beautiful things and they seem to be constantly fussing over their appearance. They love anything upscale and classy. Libras work hard to please others, this they do an others find them incredibly captivating. 

Response:
I think I'm just going to leave it at that, I think my zodiac sign describes me very well....

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Dirty 30....

30 DAY BLOGGING CHALLENGE

30 INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF

I must admit I do not find this easy.  I'm not one to talk about myself easily, which is also why I find it hard to blog.  So here goes my best at finding 30 interesting things about myself.

1.  I am the youngest and the middle child with my parents.  Youngest of my mother's 3, and middle to my father's 5.

2.  I moved to California when I was 20, wished I had stayed longer but knew I as meant to come back to Utah.

3. I was in a made for SyFy Channel movie... and not just an extra

4.  I wish I sounded as good out loud as I do in my head singing.  I've come to accept that I don't, since I have NEVER been complimented on my voice, and that's ok.

5.  When I get really upset and I'm not ready to talk about something, I clean.  I clean a lot, and I clean everything.  It's a shame my husband doesn't upset me more often...


6.  I cry when I watch acting awards show, because I wish desperately I was there.

7.  I started dancing when I was 2, and it's so close to my heart and is so therapeutic I never wanted to pursue a career in it, in fear I would start to hate it.

8.  I think my wedding video is the best movie ever made

9.  I know I have gained weight since I had a baby, and I LOVE it.  I finally feel like a woman.  I have the body of a woman and I will never want to go back to looking like the 12 year old boy I did in high school.

10.  My mom is my best friend, and always has been, always will be

11.  I'm extremely loyal to my friends, ALL my friends.  So it sucks when one friends demands loyalty out of me, when it would take away my loyalty to another friend.  Then expects me to apologize for keeping that loyalty.  I treat all my friends with the same level of respect, whether I spend more time with you then others doesn't give you more rights to my friendship then others.

12. That's not to say I haven't done shitty things to friends in the past.  I HAVE done shitty things to people I love.  I'm a human and I have flaws.  I would like to think that I'm grown up enough to move on from those shitty things, apologized and continue friendships like they never stalled.

13.  I will always apologize when I know I have something to apologize for.  If I don't apologize right away, it means I don't think there's anything to apologize for.  If you think I should you have to tell me, prove your point and show me I'm wrong.  The moment I see where I was wrong I WILL apologize, but hopefully you will listen to me as well if I argue my side as to why I don't think I need to apologize.

14.  I can actually be pretty crafty.  I just hate going out and getting all the supplies I need, and then trying to find a time and place to do it without my daughter making a mess of it all is a whole new task.  I wish I could do more then I have.

15.  I have an IGA blood deficiency.  Sounds a lot more fancy then it is.  Just means I don't produce enough immunoglobulan (white blood cells) to fight off infections as easily as someone without the disease.  Lot's of ear infections as a baby, skin issues, and not taking aspirin unless I had to.

16.  I loved being pregnant, and if I had enough money to support a HUGE family I would be fine with being constantly pregnant.  I would never have more children though "just" to have more children.

17.  Burger King is my favorite fast food place.  I try to stay away as much as possible though!

18.  I love to cook, but I don't do it very often.  I'm very weary when cooking because growing up it was always my sister who was the "cook".  I feel like I can't be as good or confident as she is in the kitchen.

19.  As pathetic as some may think, one of my biggest personal accomplishments is winning the Best Actress Award for my entire school district my senior year.  We ended up having to just do an evening of one acts, (which were brilliantly written by a local writer I knew who is now in New York becoming a play write, Jake Arky will be famous....)  anywho,  I was up against Ophelia in Hamlet, Blanch DuBoise in a Street Car Named Desire and Linda from Death of a Salesman.  I didn't make it to the awards ceremony due to a dance concert, but was shocked as hell I won! 

20.  I love changing my hair color constantly.  I just like becoming someone different, without changing who I am.
   
21.  I'm very honest, sometimes too honest.  But I only give you pure honesty if you ask for it.  I'm not honest just to have an excuse to be mean.

22.  I'm in the process of writing a book.  About mine and James' relationship, and maybe that will be able to explain to people how we are so meant for each other even though we were raised so differently.  Who knows if I will ever finish it though.

23.  I prefer Diet Coke in 1; a can 2; in a bottle 3; from the fountain.  I know a lot of people disagree but that's how I like it.

24.  I give myself positive affirmations in the mirror every morning when I'm getting ready.

25.  Having a child has been very difficult as well as rewarding.  But being the first one to have a child in my family has been the most difficult part of having a child.  I went through my whole life with my sisters as examples on how to do everything, and this along with a marriage is the first thing I'm figuring out on my own.

26.  I knew the second I saw James that he and I were meant to be together

27.  I am so amazed at the girls who are still friends with the same girls they went to high school with.  And not just like 1 or 2 of them, but like all 7 or 8 that were all in the same clique.  I think it's awesome, I haven't been able to do it and wonder how they were able to?

28.  I'm soooooo excited to turn 27!!  My whole life I feel like has been leading up to this age, and I can't wait to turn it this year.  I also know it will only get better after 27 as well.

29.  If someone, anyone... ever REALLY needs me, no matter what has happened in the past, no matter what was said or done I will be there for them. NO MATTER WHAT!

30.  This was the hardest blog I've ever written....