Day one of the 30 day blogging challenge has already proved me as a failure. I'm still going to write these blogs though.
DESCRIBE YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS.
Married.
Marriage to many people means so many different things. To some it means the end of life as they know it. To others it's the beginning of a whole new life. To some it means having a wedding, and others it's saying vows. To me it's accepting another to share a part of yourself. It's letting them see your dark moment, your embarrassing times, as well as sharing with you all the joys in life you have.
I am a child of divorce. Two to be exact. I'll admit it left a bitter taste in my mouth, not towards my mother, my father or my first step father. Not towards marriage even, but towards divorce. Seeing what it does to a person emotionally, physically and mentally is horrible. There's so much that goes on while divorcing, and if affects so many more then just the couple going through it. I don't consider my mother's marriages to be mistakes either. If she hadn't married my father, my sisters and I wouldn't be here. If she hadn't married my step father I wouldn't have a better understanding and compassion for those with mental diseases. As well as I wouldn't have such a great relationship with a great man now, who has no other family.
Going through these divorces made me know in my heart of hearts that when I recited my vows I was going to mean them. That when I got married that was going to be it, for good, for life, for eternity. I discussed this with James quite a bit before we decided to get back together and have me move back to Utah from California. I told him "If I move back I want to marry you, and if I marry you I WILL NOT divorce you." Thankfully he felt the same way. We were married in October of 2008, and I have been happy with him every single day. I won't say I've always been happy of things we have said/done/chosen, but I've always been happy it's been him I've gone through it all with. I can honestly say that I can not see myself with anyone else. Which is probably why I ran from everyone else. I know we will grow old together, I know we will have harder times then we've already gone through, and I know we will have better times then even the best times we've gone through. It all goes back to my vows though, I will be with James through better and worse, through sickness and health. Until DEATH do us part. I was lucky, beyond lucky to find James as young as I did. And sure by some people standards we were still pretty young when we got married, but I don't live by others standards. I knew I wanted to share my life with him from the day I met him. I hope everyone can find someone like that, even if they have to get divorced twice before they find him (mom and Jim) or they don't meet until they are 30 (Annika and Adam). I think everyone CAN meet that person, if they WANT to meet that person.
I love being married, and I suggest it to anyone that is ready for it. It's tough, it's a challenge, it's probably one of the hardest things you'll choose to do in your life (unless you have children...) but it's all so worth it when at the end of the night you settle into bed and you look over at the one person in the world that's willing to cross fire to see you smile, and you know you would do the exact same thing. It's worth it. In the end, it's always worth it.
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